I have had such a busy week!
Last weekend (at home, with my partner rather than at uni - 5 hours coach trip each way) was SO perfect I didn't want to go back this weekend. In fact, strangely enough, I hardly go back at all! In case it is less perfect! Also - I have a 3,000 word essay I need to write. So I have the next three days to myself. VERY to myself, as I can't find my mobile phone top-up card. So no texting. Which could be relaxing. I can wander around without caring what I look like. Becuase there will be no-one there to see me. Or could be really traumatic. I could, in theory, spend three days doing little else than pulling my hair out. Hopefully not. I suppose I will just have to make sure that doesn't happen. But today and this evening I hardly seemed to think aqbout not pulling my hair out. It hardly seemed important that I was doing it. Which is absurd. All of a sudden it dawns on me: what I'm doing is dreadful! And then I think: I can't take another 10 years of this! I'm marring my life. I've already marred a decade of it. How many more decades? One more would be too much! And then I think - I don't want to go back at Christmas and see my partner and have to say 'sorry, I've pulled ALL my hair out again!' - as though that's an OK thing to say!
On wednesday I went horseriding on Dartmoor (only having been on a horse twice before). And I had an angel of a horse - and it all went perfectly!
Then (on the same day!) I went caving (not having been caving before). For 2 hours. I still have the bruises. And I panicked so much (very dark, very claustrophobic, very steep drops) and was so exhausted but felt so brilliant having done it!
Then (on the same day!) me and my flatmates had a mini-birthday-party for one of my flatmates. And I accidently drank a cocktail of wine & Persil - which I won't be doing again anytime soon! 
So on wednesday I was far too busy to pull my hair out. And on Thursday I was far too tired. Which leaves today. Friday. Which was fairly disasterous.
Maybe it can be my 2nd New Year's Resolution (after writing a novel by 2008) to not pull my hair out AT ALL! Though I have tried that before & failed. Who knows, maybe I could though. Am listening to Roxette to try to distract myself - from thinking about hair. There are far more interesting and important things I cold be thinking about. Like my forthcoming essay etc.
Thankyou for the great comments. Far more positive than I was expecting.
